Post A Day For A Week Challenge 1: "What is my canvas; my outlet?"

[Inspired by "The Magic Bicycle" from the magazine 'Bella Grace' Issue 5, written by Sarah Bradley]

"What is my canvas; my outlet?"

What is my canvas?
What is my outlet?
How do I, as an individual, express myself?
How do I let those around me see my light; my beacon?

I like art....but I haven't put pencil to sketch pad paper in years,
I like quiet.....but too much makes me claustrophobic,
I like to move.....but not too much,
I like to read,,,,but I'm lazy, pick and somewhat of slacker when I make schedules.......

There's many more things I like but expressing them is so tiresome

I always felt that 'Hey, when it's time for you to open yourself to others you'll know'
But now.....
I don't know......
I want to unlock the door to my heart,
share what I have learned.....experienced in these 20+ years of life.
but I'm still scared.
Scared of indifference;
Scared of rejection;
Scared of mockery.

Two contrasting points, "to be open or not to be open", continue to have this game of tug and war for dominance.

Will I survive?

Heck yea.

But for how much longer will I have to wait to get a definite answer, if any at all?

What is my canvas?
What is my outlet?
Dear Lord,
I wonder what they are...........

Written: Thursday 17th Dec, 2015